Real Love

Love comes from our Creator who sent his Son to show us what real love is. Without Jesus it is impossible to really know love. I’ve been focusing on John 13:34

“A new command I give you. Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.”

Have you ever thought about the magnitude of this command? We are told to love like JESUS; the One who gave up Heaven to live as a man and die as a sinner for us (me, you, all of us). That is a daunting task to even the most saintly person. But Jesus would not have told us to do it if it were impossible, would He? So, I intend to take the challenge and "love like Jesus"! On this Valentine’s Day, it doesn't matter if you are in a struggling relationship, happily single, blissfully in love, or somewhere in between, know that you are loved so much that the One True God took on flesh and died for you. That is Love! Because of Who He is, He is alive again and we who believe in Him will see Him. Don’t believe me? You don’t have to. Read it for yourself. It’s the greatest (and truest) love story ever told. The Holy Bible.

More blessed, less stressed.

Family

Once upon a time, families consisted of a mom, a dad, and 2 or 3 kids (on average) along with a pet or two. A “step” parent only entered the picture if the birth parent was deceased or, on rare occasions, there was a divorce. The family of the 21st Century is vastly different than that of previous generations. The “once upon a time” families still exist, but they are generally in the minority. Today, ‘family’ has different definitions depending on whom you speak with. Family is a couple without children, a single person with one or more children, grandparents raising their children’s children, family may be an unmarried couple raising their children, a ‘blended’ family joining siblings from other families (giving these children siblings, step-siblings and/or half-siblings). In today’s world family can even consist of a same-sex-couple raising children by benefit of adoption, surrogate or agreement. Today’s post is not about how a family should or should not be defined. (If you really want my opinion, read the Bible.) It is about something so much more important.

Our fast-paced world has transferred its focus. In years gone by, people went to work during the week to provide for the home and family. Evenings the family sat around the table, held hands to say grace and enjoyed a meal together, discussing their day. Saturdays were spent at home or in the neighborhood, hanging out, running errands or visiting. Sundays were spent at church and gathering with family. A rare night out for dinner or a movie was looked forward to as a special occasion. Mom and dad always knew where the kids were, who they were hanging out with and when they would be home (without the necessity of individual phones for each family member). In today’s drive-thru world many families don’t sit down to share a meal even once a week! Family members spend so much of their time and effort pursuing their own interests; dance/singing/swim class, sports, hobbies, video games, (you get the picture) families rarely see each other at all. People are earning more than ever, but it is no longer enough to “provide for the family”, it is to buy more computers, smart phones, video game systems, flat screen TV’s, bigger this and better than (usually on credit). Today’s children are basically raising themselves and our society indicates it is socially acceptable, even expected. Parents are letting technology ‘babysit’ and everyone is doing their own thing. There is something wrong with this picture!! I believe there is a significant element missing in today’s family.

F - FATHER
A - ABBA
M - MAJESTY
I - I AM
L - LORD
Y - YAHWEH

We have replaced our Creator with our own creations. Computers, tablets, smart phones, digital games, music players, TV’s, etc. These things aren’t evil, they are just things. Sports, video games, hobbies, lessons, etc. These are not evil pursuits. However, we have turned these ‘things’ and ‘pursuits’ into idols and Satan is using them to separate us. One of my favorite quotes is by the late Adrian Rogers: “If the devil can’t make you bad he’ll make you busy”. That is today’s culture in a nutshell. I have a radical idea. Let’s take our families back! We can keep our technology and we can pursue our interests, but in moderation. Let’s go back to working to provide for our families and spending time with each other – instead of spending time working to buy more things to replace our families and our God. What do you think?

As always, I’m more blessed than stressed and praying the same for you,

Blessed, but Still Stressed

Many times I am asked how I can be both blessed and stressed, and why do I say “still stressed” instead of emphasizing the ‘blessed’ part. As a Christian, should I even admit to being stressed? Well, I am stressed.

I have a full-time job and a part-time job. I am a college student. I am a wife, mom, Nana, sister, friend, and a plethora of other things too. These different definitions of who I am have expectations of me. Laundry, cooking, supervising children, maintaining home schedules, commuting to and from work, doctor appointments, transporting children to activities, occasionally babysitting my grandchildren, working, paying bills, attending church, studying, taking tests, researching, filing, paperwork, and on and on.

There are also things I want to do:  I enjoy reading, playing brain-games (Scrabble, Boggle, trivia, Sudoku  etc), I dream of getting a good night’s sleep, I am trying to get healthier/lose weight, I love watching crime dramas and other shows, I like attending plays or going to the movies, I would like to spend time with my friends, visit family, organize my home, go for walks, and learn new things.

Each of these requires time and effort on my part.  Over the years I have read various blogs, articles, books and magazines on time management and organization.  Guess what?  Like most people, reading a small snippet about it is all the time I can spare.  I do the best I can but often fall short of the goals I have set for myself. 

That isn't what causes me stress.  Trying to decide what should take priority at what time and how urgently they should be done. That’s where the stress comes in. In a given day I will have worked for 8+ hours, studied for school, made dinner, checked on the kids’ homework, read a devotional, prayed, hopefully worked out, made phone calls, balanced a checkbook, paid a few bills, reviewed upcoming plans for the kids, checked on my grand-kids, and a multitude of other things on an ever expanding list.  I get a lot of stuff done, but I often don’t feel like I've accomplished much because I have to do much of it again the next day. 

BUT…

I am amazingly blessed.  First and foremost, I am a child of God.  I am a Christ Follower.  I woke up this morning so I could go to work.  I have jobs that enable me to earn money to help pay bills.  I have a reliable vehicle (which I love!) to get me to and from my jobs.  I am able to attend college and increase my knowledge.  I have a house to shelter me, filled with love it is also my home.  I have indoor plumbing and climate control.  I have a comfortable bed to sleep in and a husband to hold me tight.  I have children who need me and want me around (most of the time).  I have grandchildren to spoil.  I have clothes to wear & I have money in the bank.  I have my parents, siblings and other extended family whom I love.  I have friends.  I have a church home and a wonderful Sunday School class to attend.  I have a gift for writing poetry and a blog that some people actually read!  I have my eyesight (with the assistance of contacts) to see flowers blooming and my grandchildren playing.  I have my hearing so I am able to listen to my children laughing and get lost in the sound of music.  I can smell the rain and freshly baked bread.  I am able to taste fresh coffee and enjoy a homemade meal.  I can feel my husband’s arms wrapped around me in a loving embrace.

When I say I am amazingly blessed, it is an understatement.  I do not take my life for granted.  I do not take being a redeemed, forgiven sinner lightly.  I am in awe of what our God can do in the life of a woman who has fallen more times than she can count.  I do not pick myself back up, but by reaching up to the loving arms of my Savior I am pulled up every time.

SO…

How can I be both blessed and stressed?  Easy.  I am a fallen, sinful human (stressed) saved by grace and love (blessed).  Why is my title “Blessed but Still Stressed” instead of “Stressed but Still Blessed”?  Because my blessings always come first.  That is what I want to focus on, my blessings are what strengthen me to get through the stresses.

Today, may God bless you, encourage you and lift you back up no matter how many times you've fallen.  If you’re stressed, remember, in many ways you are also blessed.

Pieces & Parts

Teachable Moment – A One Act Play

Scene: laundry room
Mercy Me’s “I Can Only Imagine” plays in the background
A mom is humming to the song while she is ironing
Teenage son walks in, dejected look upon his face

Mom: Hi son, what’s up?
Son: Not much mom. sigh Are my dress shirt and good jeans clean? Jane says I need to take her someplace nice tonight since I forgot her birthday last week.
Mom: Your jeans are about to go in the washer and I’m ironing your shirt now. holds up a mostly ironed and partially wrinkled shirt They’ll both be ready in time for your date. But really, what’s up? You look a bit upset.
Son: rambling I keep trying and I keep failing. I don’t mean to do it, I just do. I mean, I try to do better and not do it, but then it happens. I just wonder if it’s worth it mom. I just don’t know.
Mom: Don’t mean to do what? Is what worth it? You aren’t making any sense.
Son: frustrated sigh Trying to be ‘good’, do the ‘right thing’. It seems the harder I try the more I mess up. I didn’t mean to forget my homework, I got busy with work and stuff. I know I broke curfew last night, it was stupid. I borrowed my friend’s favorite jacket the other day and it got torn. I wasn’t paying attention and I broke dad’s favorite mug. I just keep messing up.
Mom: hanging up the ironed shirt We all make mistakes, big ones and little ones. That doesn’t mean we should stop trying to do the right thing. Paul says in Romans 7: “ I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.” It is our sinful/human nature to do the things we shouldn’t, but we have forgiveness from God. If we repent and are truly sorry for what we have done wrong, God will forgive us.
Son: But I’m just going to mess up again, so why bother? I really am sorry when I mess up and I apologize, pray, ask forgiveness, but it’s just a huge circle I keep repeating. Am I making a difference? Do I change anything? No, I just keeping doing it. It doesn’t seem to do any good or make any sense. I just don’t know if I should even try. I’m just wasting my time and God’s too.
Mom: Nothing done for God is a waste of time. None of us are perfect, not even your dear old mom. Besides, does that mean if you’re just going to get hungry again, I shouldn’t feed you?
Son: Mom! That’s not the same thing. My body requires food and drink and air to survive. I know no one is perfect, but sometimes I feel like the least perfect. I don’t murder or anything but I still don’t do what I should do. I just think I should give up trying if I know I’m going to fail.
Mom: I hadn’t thought about it that way before. Hmmm, maybe that is for the best.
son looks up at mom, eyes wide
Mom: In that case, here.
mom balls up the freshly ironed shirt and tosses it to her son, reaches into the dirty laundry to pick up the jeans and tosses them to him as well
Son: What are you doing? I can’t wear the shirt like this and the jeans aren’t clean yet!
Mom: Well, you’re just going to wear the shirt and get it wrinkled again aren’t you? You’re just going to wear the jeans and get them dirty again aren’t you? Why should I wash them or iron them? Wouldn’t that be a waste of time?

Son: That’s different!
Mom: Really? How? When you wear your clothes, you try to keep them clean and you try to keep them unwrinkled, but wrinkled and dirty may still happen. Remember 1 John 1:9; “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” The Bible also tells us to continuously forgive others, sometimes we forget that we need to forgive ourselves too. We should turn from evil and seek to do good. Yes, we are going to mess up and yes we are going to sin. That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try to do what is right and what the Lord requires of us “To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with our God”.
Son: sheepishly Got it mom. Thanks for the Sunday School sermon. I guess I’m not too old to re-learn a lesson. You’re right, I forgot: “As far as the east is from the west” right?
mom and son hug
Son: Ummm, you think you could iron this again and go ahead and wash these? 
Mom: laughing Sure, you got it!

There are ‘teachable moments’ in everyday activities. We can bless ourselves as we seek to encourage others. I pray this day sees you with more blesses than stresses.

In His love,

Say What?!

Have you ever had that feeling? You know. The one that MUST BE from God because you feel it SO strongly.  For me, that feeling is the role of stay-at-home mom.

I’m not talking “wouldn’t it be nice” or “if it’s possible, I want to…”.  No, I was SURE deep inside that I was meant to be a stay-at-home wife and mother.  Yep, my role models were Donna Reed, Jane Wyatt and Barbara Billingsley.  (Yes, some of you youngsters will have to Google those names.)

Picture it: shirt dress, pearls, low heels, perfectly applied makeup, spotless home and a happy husband. I wanted to keep a clean home, have freshly baked cookies waiting for the kids when they returned from school, help with homework, spend quality time with them and teach them life lessons as well as always having dinner ready when my husband walked in the door. (Yes, I am laughing now.)

My yearning to be a housewife, domestic diva, matriarch of the mansion, etc has been with me for as long as I can remember. Although I started working full-time the day after I graduated high school, I was able to live part of my dream for a few short years right before my middle child was born until 3 years later when my youngest was 10 months old. The spotless home never happened. The shirt dress, heels and pearls? Uh, no. But you get the picture. Then, shortly after my third child was born, my husband left, so I did not have a choice but to start working again. Over the years, that feeling has never gone away; if anything it has only intensified. I kept thinking I would again be a stay-at-home mom, someday.  I just needed to wait for God’s perfect timing. Over 6 years ago I remarried, and I remember thinking it would happen then; after all, someone else could provide for my children and I.

Is it not funny how we replace God’s will in our lives with what WE want in our lives? I wanted this so much, I was certain it was God’s desire for me as well. In general, I am pretty discerning. Except, it seems, when it deals directly with me. Others? Definitely. Probably because I am a third party and not directly vested. However, when it comes to myself… Not so much.

Earlier this year I decided it was time for a heart-to-heart talk with God. Not just ‘prayer time’, this was going to be a serious conversation. I wanted answers. . It went something like this:

Me: Lord, um, I think you forgot something.
Lord: Really? What?
Me: Hello? Me. I am still working. Not just a little, I have a full-time and a part-time job. I can’t get much further ahead at work since I do not have a college degree. I think maybe this is a sign to go ahead with the plans.
Lord: A sign? What sign? Plans?
Me: laughing Yes, remember? More than half a lifetime ago, You put a desire in my heart tobe a stay-at-home mom. I’ve waited and I’ve trusted you. Now it’s Your turn.  So… Go ahead.
Lord: My turn?
Me: confused, not laughing anymore  Um, yes? Please?
Lord: My child, listen to Me. You accepted Me decades ago, including My will for you. I have been with you every step of the way, even those times you turned away and thought I left. If being a stay-at-home wife/mom had been My plan for you, it would have happened. Look at your life: your children are almost all grown up, you have grandchildren now.  laughing You spend more money than your husband can afford, but that is ok, it is one of the reasons you work too. I have other plans for your life. Plans like finally attending college and the blog you write to share My work in your life.
Me: But… I thought… I felt…. Are you sure?
Lord: My precious, precious daughter. As you have trusted Me with the things in your life; your husband, your children, your home, your friends – trust Me also with your life. I promise you, I know what I am doing.

It was not the conversation I had envisioned. Not even a little. It did not go at all as I had planned. I felt bitter towards God for a while, a long while.  Then I forgave. Not God, nothing to forgive, (He is God after all) but I forgave myself. It was necessary for me to let go of the fact I had been putting my hopes, dreams and desires in place of God’s will. If I had actually asked God, I’m sure He would have let me know earlier! Instead, I took what I felt to be from God because of how strongly I felt them. Feelings are no replacement for seeking Him. I may not be living the life I intended, but I am living the life God intends. That alone makes my stressed life, my blessed life.

Blessings to you.

Beautiful

Is the Word of God something I trust in? When I read the Bible, do I believe what it says? Yes I do. Wait, I meant YES, I DO!!! Then why do I have trouble thinking some verses don’t apply to me?

Matthew 6:25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life”

(I worry with the best of them!)

Philippians 4:19 “..my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus”

(So why do I work so hard to provide what I think I need?)

Matthew 11:28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”

(Rest? Me? I don’t have time to rest.)

Proverbs 3:5 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.”

(I’m pretty good with the first half of the verse, but I tend to lean a bit too heavily on my own understanding…)

But this next one? Ugh, how could it apply to me?
Psalm 139:14 “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”

Me? Wonderfully made? Hello! I’m wrinkled, 5’1 ½” (on a good day), freckled, weigh over 200 pounds, have fine and purple hair (ok, I did the purple to myself!). I’m not graceful by any means and my IQ prevents me from being considered a nerd. So um, yeah, how does this verse apply to me?

For years, my comments generally sounded something like this: “Don’t take a picture, I’d break the camera lens.” “When I back up, I should beep.” “Participate in sports? Not me, I’m a klutz.” “Describe myself? Short and fat. How’s that?”

My husband and a couple of my children often asked me to stop putting myself down because it bothers them. I tried, very hard, to stop belittling myself. Then, insert dramatic music here, someone very close to me gained weight after giving birth to her second child (Go figure! You gain weight when you have a baby? Who knew?) and she started doing the same thing to herself and it really hurt me.

Whenever she makes a negative comment, she laughs it off, but I remember doing the same thing. I would make fun of myself to prevent anyone else from doing it. It’s sort of an ironic defense mechanism. She is not only creative and fun, she’s truly beautiful. But lately, there isn’t a person on the planet who would be able to convince her of it. So I started praying about how to show her the true value of who she is.

Do you know what happened? No, God didn’t provide a miracle healing of her self-image, He didn’t show me a verse to give to her. What God did was to put a mirror in front of me.

And OUCH! Those lessons are often the hardest to learn. I’ve spent years being self-deprecating, putting myself down, and insulting myself in front of the people who love me most. What does that say to them? I was allowing my opinion of my appearance to affect how I thought others viewed me. It wasn’t until God placed this mirror in front of me that I was truly able to see the damage I have caused. Therefore, I will focus more on what the Bible says and less on how I feel. Feelings can get us in trouble, that’s “leaning on your own understanding”.

I will encourage others to trust scripture over opinion. Read Proverbs 31 about the wife of noble character (yes, impossible to fill her shoes, but I do have a point).

Proverbs 31:10-12 “A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.”

Proverbs 31:25-27a “She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household"

Proverbs 31:28 “Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her”

Proverbs 31:30 “Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.”

EPIPHANY! Did you notice it? There is no mention of her physical appearance anywhere in the passage. How we look on the outside is not what makes us beautiful! Our character, the way we treat others, our attitude, our speech, and our faith are what make us, as women, beautiful. The Bible says it and I believe it. Now it's time to start acting like it.

In conclusion: Genesis 1:27 “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.” Me! CAS, made in the image of God! That makes all the freckles, wrinkles, 200+ pounds and purple hair. Beautiful to the One Who matters most. My Creator!

Wishing you the best of blesses and the least of stresses. God thinks you’re beautiful, and so do I!