Teachable Moment – A One Act Play

Scene: laundry room
Mercy Me’s “I Can Only Imagine” plays in the background
A mom is humming to the song while she is ironing
Teenage son walks in, dejected look upon his face

Mom: Hi son, what’s up?
Son: Not much mom. sigh Are my dress shirt and good jeans clean? Jane says I need to take her someplace nice tonight since I forgot her birthday last week.
Mom: Your jeans are about to go in the washer and I’m ironing your shirt now. holds up a mostly ironed and partially wrinkled shirt They’ll both be ready in time for your date. But really, what’s up? You look a bit upset.
Son: rambling I keep trying and I keep failing. I don’t mean to do it, I just do. I mean, I try to do better and not do it, but then it happens. I just wonder if it’s worth it mom. I just don’t know.
Mom: Don’t mean to do what? Is what worth it? You aren’t making any sense.
Son: frustrated sigh Trying to be ‘good’, do the ‘right thing’. It seems the harder I try the more I mess up. I didn’t mean to forget my homework, I got busy with work and stuff. I know I broke curfew last night, it was stupid. I borrowed my friend’s favorite jacket the other day and it got torn. I wasn’t paying attention and I broke dad’s favorite mug. I just keep messing up.
Mom: hanging up the ironed shirt We all make mistakes, big ones and little ones. That doesn’t mean we should stop trying to do the right thing. Paul says in Romans 7: “ I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.” It is our sinful/human nature to do the things we shouldn’t, but we have forgiveness from God. If we repent and are truly sorry for what we have done wrong, God will forgive us.
Son: But I’m just going to mess up again, so why bother? I really am sorry when I mess up and I apologize, pray, ask forgiveness, but it’s just a huge circle I keep repeating. Am I making a difference? Do I change anything? No, I just keeping doing it. It doesn’t seem to do any good or make any sense. I just don’t know if I should even try. I’m just wasting my time and God’s too.
Mom: Nothing done for God is a waste of time. None of us are perfect, not even your dear old mom. Besides, does that mean if you’re just going to get hungry again, I shouldn’t feed you?
Son: Mom! That’s not the same thing. My body requires food and drink and air to survive. I know no one is perfect, but sometimes I feel like the least perfect. I don’t murder or anything but I still don’t do what I should do. I just think I should give up trying if I know I’m going to fail.
Mom: I hadn’t thought about it that way before. Hmmm, maybe that is for the best.
son looks up at mom, eyes wide
Mom: In that case, here.
mom balls up the freshly ironed shirt and tosses it to her son, reaches into the dirty laundry to pick up the jeans and tosses them to him as well
Son: What are you doing? I can’t wear the shirt like this and the jeans aren’t clean yet!
Mom: Well, you’re just going to wear the shirt and get it wrinkled again aren’t you? You’re just going to wear the jeans and get them dirty again aren’t you? Why should I wash them or iron them? Wouldn’t that be a waste of time?

Son: That’s different!
Mom: Really? How? When you wear your clothes, you try to keep them clean and you try to keep them unwrinkled, but wrinkled and dirty may still happen. Remember 1 John 1:9; “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” The Bible also tells us to continuously forgive others, sometimes we forget that we need to forgive ourselves too. We should turn from evil and seek to do good. Yes, we are going to mess up and yes we are going to sin. That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try to do what is right and what the Lord requires of us “To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with our God”.
Son: sheepishly Got it mom. Thanks for the Sunday School sermon. I guess I’m not too old to re-learn a lesson. You’re right, I forgot: “As far as the east is from the west” right?
mom and son hug
Son: Ummm, you think you could iron this again and go ahead and wash these? 
Mom: laughing Sure, you got it!

There are ‘teachable moments’ in everyday activities. We can bless ourselves as we seek to encourage others. I pray this day sees you with more blesses than stresses.

In His love,

Family Time

THAT’S NOT FAIR! As a mom I’ve heard the phrase many times. (I’ve often heard it as a wife, friend and co-worker too.) I have a full-time job, a part-time job, I’m attending college full-time and I have teenagers at home, a husband, grown kids and grandkids. Herein lies my dilemma, aka as the age old question: quality time or quantity time? What is considered “fair”? Is it more important to spend a specific amount of time with the family or more important what I do in the time I do spend? After my own personal experiences and research, I have come up with an answer that surprised me.

NEITHER and BOTH

I know, Earth shattering isn’t it? Sometimes there is no “right” answer. Families, and the family members in them, need different things at different stages. To the sleep-deprived parent walking the floor with a screaming child at 2 am, taking care of the baby’s needs counts as bonding-time. An elementary school-age child needs direction. A teenager wants as much space as parents will allow, but at the same time needs to know they have boundaries. Adult children want their own lives but also want to know “mom” and “dad” are still available. I’ve struggled with being ‘fair’ in the amount of time I spend with my children and grandchildren, being ‘fair’ with the time I give my husband, time I need to devote to school, work, church, friends, etc. I’ve learned something incredibly valuable. Trying to be fair is exhausting!

My youngest, JT a few days old 1996

God, in his infinite wisdom, gave us all the same amount of time. There are 60 seconds in every minute, 60 minutes in every hour, 24 hours in every day, 7 days in every week, etc. I do the best I can with the time he has graced me with. I love my family; they are precious to me in ways I cannot describe. I am so busy and stressed that I sometimes forget that and God reminds me my family is a gift. I will treasure all the time I spend with them: a few minutes of really good conversation or a few hours just sitting together watching a movie. All times are important and I consider ANY time with my family a blessing.

As you can see, my blesses still outweigh my stresses; continued prayers that you will find the same.

Repair It or Replace It?

“The computer is sluggish and not operating properly, shall we get it fixed?” Nope, toss it and buy a new one.  “The hem came out of my skirt, where do I get it repaired?”  Just donate it and buy a new one.  “My car’s engine is making a strange noise and I don’t know what it means.”  Bring it in and we’ll help you replace it, no money down!  -  We live in a “throw away” society; rather than “repair it”  our culture has a “replace it” mentality.  This does not only apply to material possessions (computers, clothes, cars, etc) but in marriages as well.  I do not believe this is what God intended for his beloved children. 

In The Beginning…

 Mark 10:6-9

"But at the beginning of creation God 'made them male and female.'  'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife,  and the two will become one flesh.' So they are no longer two, but one.  Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."

There are rare occasions when divorce is sanctioned by God (i.e. adultery) however that is not usually what destroys a marriage.  It is the little things, the tiny disputes which used to be few and far between, it is the disagreements over the budget, the feeling of having your time controlled and bitterness over differences.  These add up and instead of talking it over, seeking forgiveness or counseling…a lawyer is called.  In a moment, “what God has joined together” is  ripped apart.  I see a world where spouses are taken for granted because they can be replaced and this makes me sad.  This is not the legacy we should leave our children.  I’ve been divorced, I’m a child of divorce but I’ve also seen firsthand God’s redemptive power.  My  father has now been happily remarried for 28 years.  My mother has been happily remarried for 23 years.  Thankfully God does allow second chances, I have also been remarried for 6 stressed but blessed years.  Is it easy, calm, without conflict?  In a word…NO.  But I don’t want a throw-away marriage.  I want something worth working for, someone worth fighting for, someone who believes I’m worth holding onto. Some days I take my husband for granted, but I always want him to feel respected and loved.  Some days I feel taken for granted, but today, I feel cherished.  Today, my wonderful husband sent me the following text and asked me to include it in a blog:

“My wife is the heart of our family, she is the one EVERYONE goes to for answers and advice.  She is the one who devoted her whole holiday weekend to everyone but herself.  From cleaning the kitchen after others made a mess, to doing all the laundry, to helping me with my projects and playing with the grandkids.  And don’t forget, she also makes sure to fill my ‘love tank’ no matter how tired she is.  My wife is one-of-a-kind.”

Yes, I'll take my "blessed but still stressed" life ANY DAY! Praying the same for you.  CAS