Personal Narrative aka "ABOUT ME"

My first assignment for English Comp II was to write a personal narrative introducing "all about" me to the other students.  I think, for a college paper, it is pretty descriptive and I have decided to share it with you!

          My name is Colleen and my nickname is CAS.  I’ll answer to either of those or anything else as long as it is polite.  I consider myself a blessed woman.  I have a large and amazing family, I attend a great school and I work at both a full-time and part-time job.  I enjoy writing (poetry, commentaries, and short stories) as well as being an active member of my church.  I have friends, responsibilities, and expectations.  There is no easy (or short) way to tell you about me, and I am long-winded anyway, so sit back, relax and enjoy.    

I have an incredibly large family.  I am a wife; married seven and a half years to a wonderful man whom I call “Bear”.  I have three beautiful children from my first marriage; my 17 year old (my baby) is currently a junior in high school, my 19 year old daughter is a sophomore in college, and my eldest daughter is 24 years old, happily married and mother to my amazing little two-year-old granddaughter, lovingly referred to as “Monkee”.  My marriage also brought me three more great children: a 31 year old step-son, a 28-year old stepdaughter (who is married and mother to my equally adorable four-year-old granddaughter and two-year-old grandson) and a 16-year old stepdaughter who is a sophomore in high school.  In addition to my immediate family, my extended family includes four sisters, three brothers, two sets of parents (as my parents divorced and each remarried), siblings-in-law and almost 30 nieces and nephews.  This does not even go in to cousins, aunts and uncles. I have a lot of those as well.  I love my family and consider them an essential part of who I am.

I married my first husband in 1988, just before high school graduation.  Being that young, married, and my first child born a year and a half later, there was really only the opportunity for one of us to go to college.  I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom anyway, so I took a part-time job and encouraged my husband to go to college.  Ten years and three children later, my (then) husband decided he was not quite ready to be a husband and father (his words, not mine) so we divorced.  I started working full-time two days after he asked for the divorce and I have been working ever since.

As of today, I have been employed with my current employer (local city government) for almost 13 years.  Moving my way up through the company, working in different clerical/administrative positions for several different departments.  I began working as the Restitution Clerk in the Probation Office, a division of Municipal Court, in March 2001.  In April 2006 I applied for a promotion, interviewed and was hired as Secretary to the Supervisor of Park and Recreation, Park Maintenance and Forestry division.  I again applied for, interviewed and was promoted to Account Clerk III in Environmental Health in 2010.  The first two positions were located at City Hall but this third position was located off-site.  I liked the job but did not like the location, when the same position became available in another department back at City Hall, I applied for a transfer, interviewed and was granted the lateral move in April 2012.  I have been with the Fire Department ever since.  All of the jobs entailed the same basic clerical work I was familiar with, but each job also required more extensive and complex duties.  I love to learn, therefore this became the best part of the job for me.

In 2004 I met the wonderful man who taught me to love again.  We married in August 2006 with all our children and a lot of family present.  A few months after we married, I also became the part-time secretary for his company (which he co-owns).  I basically work only on Saturdays; processing the weekly deposit, pulling tickets, paying bills and issuing payroll.  I also do the filing, file taxes, and insure the accountants have all the necessary documents to maintain our financial records as well as take care of the more detailed taxes.  It is a small business and it has been a struggle to stay ‘afloat’ over the last several years, but we work hard and we are getting busier every day.

As I am sure you have already noted, I am a non-traditional student.  My husband is 15 years older than I am which obviously means he will be retiring quite some time before I do.  Because I did not go to college, I have basically “hit the ceiling” with my current employer.  I do not plan on retiring for at least 20 – 25 years, so my husband encouraged me to look into going to college.  I started taking classes during the summer of 2012 and have been taking a few classes each semester ever since.  By obtaining my degree I will be qualified to apply and interview for jobs that would be more in-line with my areas of interest.  The positions I am interested in (Administrative Aide, Administrative Assistant, etc) would also be considered promotions.  My ideal ‘dream’ job is as an executive secretary, best represented by Della Street, Perry Mason’s indispensable assistant.  I am only a sophomore so it will be quite some time before I have the degree, but I have a goal and I will achieve it in due time.

Until recently, I had not been able to determine what degree I wanted to pursue.  Recently, however, I looked at several factors to help me decide.  These include my ‘dream’ job (and the requirements for it), what I believe I am good at (scheduling, organizing, proofreading, editing, etc), and what I like to do (reading and writing) and I have decided I will be changing to a Speech major.  My two favorite passions (outside of my family) are reading and writing.  I don’t have a lot of time for either, but when I do, I choose mysteries for reading and for writing, whatever I am in the mood for.  I have been writing for as long as I can remember; poetry, commentaries, short stories, and even personal letters.  I have a blog where I post my writings and it is popular with my friends and family.  If that is as far as it goes, I am satisfied because I write for the pure pleasure of it.

Most of my writings somehow involve my faith.  I am an active member of my church.  Of all the things I am: wife, mother, Nana, sister, daughter, employee, student, friend, and writer, I am nothing without my faith.  Prior to getting married, before I applied for and/or accepted each job and before I started school - I sought direction through prayer.  My family prayed with me and for me, as did my friends and my fellow church members.  Anything I accomplish in life is not through my own efforts but through the overwhelming presence of Christ in me.  I decided a long time ago, that my attitude is my choice.  My circumstances are comprised of hills and valleys; my God is the same whether I am up or down.  My friends, family, co-workers and even strangers recognize me as the “fabulous lady”.  If you ask me how I am, I will always respond “fabulous!"  My faith, my family, my friends, my career, my education, and my attitude are all choices I have made and those things are all combined together to make up me, CAS.

Family

Once upon a time, families consisted of a mom, a dad, and 2 or 3 kids (on average) along with a pet or two. A “step” parent only entered the picture if the birth parent was deceased or, on rare occasions, there was a divorce. The family of the 21st Century is vastly different than that of previous generations. The “once upon a time” families still exist, but they are generally in the minority. Today, ‘family’ has different definitions depending on whom you speak with. Family is a couple without children, a single person with one or more children, grandparents raising their children’s children, family may be an unmarried couple raising their children, a ‘blended’ family joining siblings from other families (giving these children siblings, step-siblings and/or half-siblings). In today’s world family can even consist of a same-sex-couple raising children by benefit of adoption, surrogate or agreement. Today’s post is not about how a family should or should not be defined. (If you really want my opinion, read the Bible.) It is about something so much more important.

Our fast-paced world has transferred its focus. In years gone by, people went to work during the week to provide for the home and family. Evenings the family sat around the table, held hands to say grace and enjoyed a meal together, discussing their day. Saturdays were spent at home or in the neighborhood, hanging out, running errands or visiting. Sundays were spent at church and gathering with family. A rare night out for dinner or a movie was looked forward to as a special occasion. Mom and dad always knew where the kids were, who they were hanging out with and when they would be home (without the necessity of individual phones for each family member). In today’s drive-thru world many families don’t sit down to share a meal even once a week! Family members spend so much of their time and effort pursuing their own interests; dance/singing/swim class, sports, hobbies, video games, (you get the picture) families rarely see each other at all. People are earning more than ever, but it is no longer enough to “provide for the family”, it is to buy more computers, smart phones, video game systems, flat screen TV’s, bigger this and better than (usually on credit). Today’s children are basically raising themselves and our society indicates it is socially acceptable, even expected. Parents are letting technology ‘babysit’ and everyone is doing their own thing. There is something wrong with this picture!! I believe there is a significant element missing in today’s family.

F - FATHER
A - ABBA
M - MAJESTY
I - I AM
L - LORD
Y - YAHWEH

We have replaced our Creator with our own creations. Computers, tablets, smart phones, digital games, music players, TV’s, etc. These things aren’t evil, they are just things. Sports, video games, hobbies, lessons, etc. These are not evil pursuits. However, we have turned these ‘things’ and ‘pursuits’ into idols and Satan is using them to separate us. One of my favorite quotes is by the late Adrian Rogers: “If the devil can’t make you bad he’ll make you busy”. That is today’s culture in a nutshell. I have a radical idea. Let’s take our families back! We can keep our technology and we can pursue our interests, but in moderation. Let’s go back to working to provide for our families and spending time with each other – instead of spending time working to buy more things to replace our families and our God. What do you think?

As always, I’m more blessed than stressed and praying the same for you,

Family Time

THAT’S NOT FAIR! As a mom I’ve heard the phrase many times. (I’ve often heard it as a wife, friend and co-worker too.) I have a full-time job, a part-time job, I’m attending college full-time and I have teenagers at home, a husband, grown kids and grandkids. Herein lies my dilemma, aka as the age old question: quality time or quantity time? What is considered “fair”? Is it more important to spend a specific amount of time with the family or more important what I do in the time I do spend? After my own personal experiences and research, I have come up with an answer that surprised me.

NEITHER and BOTH

I know, Earth shattering isn’t it? Sometimes there is no “right” answer. Families, and the family members in them, need different things at different stages. To the sleep-deprived parent walking the floor with a screaming child at 2 am, taking care of the baby’s needs counts as bonding-time. An elementary school-age child needs direction. A teenager wants as much space as parents will allow, but at the same time needs to know they have boundaries. Adult children want their own lives but also want to know “mom” and “dad” are still available. I’ve struggled with being ‘fair’ in the amount of time I spend with my children and grandchildren, being ‘fair’ with the time I give my husband, time I need to devote to school, work, church, friends, etc. I’ve learned something incredibly valuable. Trying to be fair is exhausting!

My youngest, JT a few days old 1996

God, in his infinite wisdom, gave us all the same amount of time. There are 60 seconds in every minute, 60 minutes in every hour, 24 hours in every day, 7 days in every week, etc. I do the best I can with the time he has graced me with. I love my family; they are precious to me in ways I cannot describe. I am so busy and stressed that I sometimes forget that and God reminds me my family is a gift. I will treasure all the time I spend with them: a few minutes of really good conversation or a few hours just sitting together watching a movie. All times are important and I consider ANY time with my family a blessing.

As you can see, my blesses still outweigh my stresses; continued prayers that you will find the same.

Repair It or Replace It?

“The computer is sluggish and not operating properly, shall we get it fixed?” Nope, toss it and buy a new one.  “The hem came out of my skirt, where do I get it repaired?”  Just donate it and buy a new one.  “My car’s engine is making a strange noise and I don’t know what it means.”  Bring it in and we’ll help you replace it, no money down!  -  We live in a “throw away” society; rather than “repair it”  our culture has a “replace it” mentality.  This does not only apply to material possessions (computers, clothes, cars, etc) but in marriages as well.  I do not believe this is what God intended for his beloved children. 

In The Beginning…

 Mark 10:6-9

"But at the beginning of creation God 'made them male and female.'  'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife,  and the two will become one flesh.' So they are no longer two, but one.  Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."

There are rare occasions when divorce is sanctioned by God (i.e. adultery) however that is not usually what destroys a marriage.  It is the little things, the tiny disputes which used to be few and far between, it is the disagreements over the budget, the feeling of having your time controlled and bitterness over differences.  These add up and instead of talking it over, seeking forgiveness or counseling…a lawyer is called.  In a moment, “what God has joined together” is  ripped apart.  I see a world where spouses are taken for granted because they can be replaced and this makes me sad.  This is not the legacy we should leave our children.  I’ve been divorced, I’m a child of divorce but I’ve also seen firsthand God’s redemptive power.  My  father has now been happily remarried for 28 years.  My mother has been happily remarried for 23 years.  Thankfully God does allow second chances, I have also been remarried for 6 stressed but blessed years.  Is it easy, calm, without conflict?  In a word…NO.  But I don’t want a throw-away marriage.  I want something worth working for, someone worth fighting for, someone who believes I’m worth holding onto. Some days I take my husband for granted, but I always want him to feel respected and loved.  Some days I feel taken for granted, but today, I feel cherished.  Today, my wonderful husband sent me the following text and asked me to include it in a blog:

“My wife is the heart of our family, she is the one EVERYONE goes to for answers and advice.  She is the one who devoted her whole holiday weekend to everyone but herself.  From cleaning the kitchen after others made a mess, to doing all the laundry, to helping me with my projects and playing with the grandkids.  And don’t forget, she also makes sure to fill my ‘love tank’ no matter how tired she is.  My wife is one-of-a-kind.”

Yes, I'll take my "blessed but still stressed" life ANY DAY! Praying the same for you.  CAS

Home -- A Perspective

Flashback 6 years - My new husband and I, along with 4 of the 6 children, were moving into a brand-new house. Not just ‘new to us’ but BRAND NEW! Wood floors, stainless steel appliances, textured walls, recessed lighting, walk-in closets, etc. There wasn’t a scratch, a stain, a mar ANYWHERE and it was beautiful. A short while later we even added a yard (thanks to sod!) and a garden. Fast-forward to today. The wood floors are scuffed and dusty, the carpeting is matted and stained (thanks to a dog who joined the family several years ago). The cabinets are scratched up, the walk-in closets are NOT as big as they appeared when empty. The walls are marked up, scratched and dirty and the yard is dry and dead in some places (thanks to two very hot & dry summers). Keep in mind, the house is not falling apart. There are no broken windows, no doors hanging off of the hinges, no holes in the wall, no busted plumbing. Just normal everyday wear-and-tear. I no longer see a beautiful house, but I see an amazing HOME.

The difference between men and women: My wonderful husband looks around the house and will become upset about the way he perceives people treat the house. “They treat it like a disposable home.” He believes they are being disrespectful to him by not keeping it as pristine as it was when we moved-in. He gets frustrated with me for not following guests (family and friends alike) around to keep them from accidentally or carelessly scratching something. My opinion is the opposite of his. I believe the children (the ones who live with us and the ones who are grown), our grandchildren and our guests actually show they feel welcome in our home because they feel safe enough to be “at home” with us. I’m not raising a house and I don’t want to live in a museum. I’m raising children, I’m entertaining family and friends. Even if I’m alone in the house I look around and see them. The toys left out after the grandkids left. The kitchen where the kids and I make Christmas cookies and the evidence of dishes put away in a hurry. I see the fingerprints all over the sliding glass door that leads to the back deck where my husband makes his family famous ribs. I see the stained carpet and remember the joy the dog brings my husband (which is the ONLY reason we still have the dog). I see a glass coffee table covered with a thick blanket to protect it and the grandkids from each other. Every mark, every scratch, every dent is a memory I wouldn’t trade for anything. It’s all in the perception.

Thank you God for a home, not only for me but for those whose receive shelter there, whether for a moment or for a lifetime. I pray you will bless every scratch, every speck of dust, every fingerprint and every dirty area. I want my home to be a haven for those who enter it.

Proverbs 14:1

 I pray for wisdom to build the HOUSE in a way that honors my husband and pray my husband embraces the HOME that provides a place of refuge for our family.
Today, as always, I pray you will remember blesses outweigh stresses!

God Answers Prayers

Do you wonder if God answers prayer? I don’t wonder, I know.

Years ago I was a divorced mom. My life consisted of work, church, and my children. I was finally overcoming the pain, low self-esteem, and baggage that come with divorce when I felt God calling me to be married. But dating… Uh, no thanks.

 I told God “I don’t know how to do this. If you want me to be single, please give me that desire, if you want me to be married you’ll have to bring him to me because I’m not looking!” However if God wanted me to be married and if he had someone for me, then I had some requirements. Isn’t that funny? “It’s in Your hands, but…”

Being a protective mama bear I was concerned for my cubs! My prayer request “Heavenly Father, I want a protector, someone willing to defend me and my cubs. Someone hard-working, able to provide for himself, mama and the cubs. He should be generous and serving, aware of the needs of others, giving of his time, talent, money, and/or abilities. Let him be fun. Someone who can relax and enjoy a blessed, but stressed life. A Bible believing, church attending, born-again Christian. A father-figure for my cubs; to encourage, discipline, teach and love them. To hold them accountable and care for them like their mama bear does. I want a partner I can share my secrets, hopes, and dreams with. Someone I will willingly submit to, honor, respect, love and commit myself to ‘until death do us part’. Someone I can disagree with, work out conflict with, and still trust with my heart. God, I want my husband to be bear-y.”

via

Within months of my prayer request, I was introduced to the “bear-y” man I had requested from God and today we are celebrating our 6th anniversary. Guess what? God has a sense of humor! BARRY and I have our ‘good times and bad times’, ‘sickness and health’, ‘happiness and sorrow’, ‘richer and poorer’, but we are more devoted and in love than ever.

Yes, God answers prayer. If you’re struggling with trusting God’s plans for you, I want you to know something. God is good and able to provide for us above and beyond what we ask. I know. I married proof! My Bear is answered prayer! Today, as all days, the blesses outweigh the stresses!

Prayer

I find it easy to pray for others. After speaking to my friends, hearing the concerns of my family, watching the news I pray.

Just recently I prayed for healing as both my father and step-mother had surgery. I pray daily for safety in regards to my son-in-law as his job is not safe and he works outside (in 100°+ heat). I prayed for a friend who has a relative with legal trouble. I prayed for the victims and families of the Aurora, Colorado shooting; I prayed for the shooter too.

Confession time: I have trouble asking for prayer. Why is that? It makes no sense. I know that prayer is a gift and I fully trust that God answers prayer. I will pray for my needs and the needs/wants of my family, so why do I have difficulty asking others to pray for those same wants/needs?

The Bible says "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." (Phil 4:6-7) There are many scripture verses on prayer; it is evident that prayer is important to God. One of my favorite Bible verses is Matthew 18:20; "For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them." I’m taking a leap of faith today and requesting prayer from my readers.

My husband and I are doing what we believe is in the best interest of Jesi, my husband’s youngest daughter. We are in mediation before court trying to obtain residential custody. I’m not asking that you pray for us to receive the residential custody we are seeking. I’m not asking for prayer that we “win” custody or have favor with the judge. I only ask that you pray for God’s will to be done and that the counselor, the attorneys, the parents and the courts will follow-through with Jesi’s best interests.

Thank you for taking the time to read this and for your prayers. I pray for each of you as well.

I remember; I’m still more blessed than stressed!

CAS

This Man’s Worth

 

How do you list the value of this man?

I have a ‘way with words’, but I don’t think I can.

A smile sweet with genuine concern,

An eager spirit, always willing to learn.

Encouragement he offers to every friend,

Loyal & supportive – to the very end.

Devotion to God and true love for his wife,

Faith, family & work – a truly balanced life.

So caring, generous & helpful – it’s true.

But never a boastful word…he’s humble too.

Working through the weeks, days & hours

Thousands of trees, bushes & flowers

Playgrounds installed and parks well tended,

Walking paths created & courts now mended.

Projects well started are now complete

A busy “to-do list”- becomes a blank sheet.

Years gone by – January thru December

Now just thoughts to ponder, and remember.

Enjoying the work that was done

Meant having a job that was more like “fun”.

A duty once demanding became a labor of love,

To the citizens of Wichita & the Heavenly Father above.

With all the love for my brother in Christ, Tim Martz.
Colleen A. Shirley (aka CAS) September 17, 2010