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Showing posts with label Christ. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Christ. Show all posts

Saturday, February 8, 2014

Personal Narrative aka "ABOUT ME"

My first assignment for English Comp II was to write a personal narrative introducing "all about" me to the other students.  I think, for a college paper, it is pretty descriptive and I have decided to share it with you!

          My name is Colleen and my nickname is CAS.  I’ll answer to either of those or anything else as long as it is polite.  I consider myself a blessed woman.  I have a large and amazing family, I attend a great school and I work at both a full-time and part-time job.  I enjoy writing (poetry, commentaries, and short stories) as well as being an active member of my church.  I have friends, responsibilities, and expectations.  There is no easy (or short) way to tell you about me, and I am long-winded anyway, so sit back, relax and enjoy.    

I have an incredibly large family.  I am a wife; married seven and a half years to a wonderful man whom I call “Bear”.  I have three beautiful children from my first marriage; my 17 year old (my baby) is currently a junior in high school, my 19 year old daughter is a sophomore in college, and my eldest daughter is 24 years old, happily married and mother to my amazing little two-year-old granddaughter, lovingly referred to as “Monkee”.  My marriage also brought me three more great children: a 31 year old step-son, a 28-year old stepdaughter (who is married and mother to my equally adorable four-year-old granddaughter and two-year-old grandson) and a 16-year old stepdaughter who is a sophomore in high school.  In addition to my immediate family, my extended family includes four sisters, three brothers, two sets of parents (as my parents divorced and each remarried), siblings-in-law and almost 30 nieces and nephews.  This does not even go in to cousins, aunts and uncles. I have a lot of those as well.  I love my family and consider them an essential part of who I am.

I married my first husband in 1988, just before high school graduation.  Being that young, married, and my first child born a year and a half later, there was really only the opportunity for one of us to go to college.  I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom anyway, so I took a part-time job and encouraged my husband to go to college.  Ten years and three children later, my (then) husband decided he was not quite ready to be a husband and father (his words, not mine) so we divorced.  I started working full-time two days after he asked for the divorce and I have been working ever since.

As of today, I have been employed with my current employer (local city government) for almost 13 years.  Moving my way up through the company, working in different clerical/administrative positions for several different departments.  I began working as the Restitution Clerk in the Probation Office, a division of Municipal Court, in March 2001.  In April 2006 I applied for a promotion, interviewed and was hired as Secretary to the Supervisor of Park and Recreation, Park Maintenance and Forestry division.  I again applied for, interviewed and was promoted to Account Clerk III in Environmental Health in 2010.  The first two positions were located at City Hall but this third position was located off-site.  I liked the job but did not like the location, when the same position became available in another department back at City Hall, I applied for a transfer, interviewed and was granted the lateral move in April 2012.  I have been with the Fire Department ever since.  All of the jobs entailed the same basic clerical work I was familiar with, but each job also required more extensive and complex duties.  I love to learn, therefore this became the best part of the job for me.

In 2004 I met the wonderful man who taught me to love again.  We married in August 2006 with all our children and a lot of family present.  A few months after we married, I also became the part-time secretary for his company (which he co-owns).  I basically work only on Saturdays; processing the weekly deposit, pulling tickets, paying bills and issuing payroll.  I also do the filing, file taxes, and insure the accountants have all the necessary documents to maintain our financial records as well as take care of the more detailed taxes.  It is a small business and it has been a struggle to stay ‘afloat’ over the last several years, but we work hard and we are getting busier every day.

As I am sure you have already noted, I am a non-traditional student.  My husband is 15 years older than I am which obviously means he will be retiring quite some time before I do.  Because I did not go to college, I have basically “hit the ceiling” with my current employer.  I do not plan on retiring for at least 20 – 25 years, so my husband encouraged me to look into going to college.  I started taking classes during the summer of 2012 and have been taking a few classes each semester ever since.  By obtaining my degree I will be qualified to apply and interview for jobs that would be more in-line with my areas of interest.  The positions I am interested in (Administrative Aide, Administrative Assistant, etc) would also be considered promotions.  My ideal ‘dream’ job is as an executive secretary, best represented by Della Street, Perry Mason’s indispensable assistant.  I am only a sophomore so it will be quite some time before I have the degree, but I have a goal and I will achieve it in due time.

Until recently, I had not been able to determine what degree I wanted to pursue.  Recently, however, I looked at several factors to help me decide.  These include my ‘dream’ job (and the requirements for it), what I believe I am good at (scheduling, organizing, proofreading, editing, etc), and what I like to do (reading and writing) and I have decided I will be changing to a Speech major.  My two favorite passions (outside of my family) are reading and writing.  I don’t have a lot of time for either, but when I do, I choose mysteries for reading and for writing, whatever I am in the mood for.  I have been writing for as long as I can remember; poetry, commentaries, short stories, and even personal letters.  I have a blog where I post my writings and it is popular with my friends and family.  If that is as far as it goes, I am satisfied because I write for the pure pleasure of it.

Most of my writings somehow involve my faith.  I am an active member of my church.  Of all the things I am: wife, mother, Nana, sister, daughter, employee, student, friend, and writer, I am nothing without my faith.  Prior to getting married, before I applied for and/or accepted each job and before I started school - I sought direction through prayer.  My family prayed with me and for me, as did my friends and my fellow church members.  Anything I accomplish in life is not through my own efforts but through the overwhelming presence of Christ in me.  I decided a long time ago, that my attitude is my choice.  My circumstances are comprised of hills and valleys; my God is the same whether I am up or down.  My friends, family, co-workers and even strangers recognize me as the “fabulous lady”.  If you ask me how I am, I will always respond “fabulous!"  My faith, my family, my friends, my career, my education, and my attitude are all choices I have made and those things are all combined together to make up me, CAS.

Friday, January 11, 2013

Blessed, but Still Stressed

Many times I am asked how I can be both blessed and stressed, and why do I say “still stressed” instead of emphasizing the ‘blessed’ part. As a Christian, should I even admit to being stressed? Well, I am stressed.

I have a full-time job and a part-time job. I am a college student. I am a wife, mom, Nana, sister, friend, and a plethora of other things too. These different definitions of who I am have expectations of me. Laundry, cooking, supervising children, maintaining home schedules, commuting to and from work, doctor appointments, transporting children to activities, occasionally babysitting my grandchildren, working, paying bills, attending church, studying, taking tests, researching, filing, paperwork, and on and on.

There are also things I want to do:  I enjoy reading, playing brain-games (Scrabble, Boggle, trivia, Sudoku  etc), I dream of getting a good night’s sleep, I am trying to get healthier/lose weight, I love watching crime dramas and other shows, I like attending plays or going to the movies, I would like to spend time with my friends, visit family, organize my home, go for walks, and learn new things.

Each of these requires time and effort on my part.  Over the years I have read various blogs, articles, books and magazines on time management and organization.  Guess what?  Like most people, reading a small snippet about it is all the time I can spare.  I do the best I can but often fall short of the goals I have set for myself. 

That isn't what causes me stress.  Trying to decide what should take priority at what time and how urgently they should be done. That’s where the stress comes in. In a given day I will have worked for 8+ hours, studied for school, made dinner, checked on the kids’ homework, read a devotional, prayed, hopefully worked out, made phone calls, balanced a checkbook, paid a few bills, reviewed upcoming plans for the kids, checked on my grand-kids, and a multitude of other things on an ever expanding list.  I get a lot of stuff done, but I often don’t feel like I've accomplished much because I have to do much of it again the next day. 


BUT…

I am amazingly blessed.  First and foremost, I am a child of God.  I am a Christ Follower.  I woke up this morning so I could go to work.  I have jobs that enable me to earn money to help pay bills.  I have a reliable vehicle (which I love!) to get me to and from my jobs.  I am able to attend college and increase my knowledge.  I have a house to shelter me, filled with love it is also my home.  I have indoor plumbing and climate control.  I have a comfortable bed to sleep in and a husband to hold me tight.  I have children who need me and want me around (most of the time).  I have grandchildren to spoil.  I have clothes to wear & I have money in the bank.  I have my parents, siblings and other extended family whom I love.  I have friends.  I have a church home and a wonderful Sunday School class to attend.  I have a gift for writing poetry and a blog that some people actually read!  I have my eyesight (with the assistance of contacts) to see flowers blooming and my grandchildren playing.  I have my hearing so I am able to listen to my children laughing and get lost in the sound of music.  I can smell the rain and freshly baked bread.  I am able to taste fresh coffee and enjoy a homemade meal.  I can feel my husband’s arms wrapped around me in a loving embrace.

When I say I am amazingly blessed, it is an understatement.  I do not take my life for granted.  I do not take being a redeemed, forgiven sinner lightly.  I am in awe of what our God can do in the life of a woman who has fallen more times than she can count.  I do not pick myself back up, but by reaching up to the loving arms of my Savior I am pulled up every time.

SO…

How can I be both blessed and stressed?  Easy.  I am a fallen, sinful human (stressed) saved by grace and love (blessed).  Why is my title “Blessed but Still Stressed” instead of “Stressed but Still Blessed”?  Because my blessings always come first.  That is what I want to focus on, my blessings are what strengthen me to get through the stresses.

Today, may God bless you, encourage you and lift you back up no matter how many times you've fallen.  If you’re stressed, remember, in many ways you are also blessed.



Friday, August 3, 2012

God Answers Prayers

Do you wonder if God answers prayer? I don’t wonder, I know.

Years ago I was a divorced mom. My life consisted of work, church, and my children. I was finally overcoming the pain, low self-esteem, and baggage that come with divorce when I felt God calling me to be married. But dating… Uh, no thanks.

 I told God “I don’t know how to do this. If you want me to be single, please give me that desire, if you want me to be married you’ll have to bring him to me because I’m not looking!” However if God wanted me to be married and if he had someone for me, then I had some requirements. Isn’t that funny? “It’s in Your hands, but…”

Being a protective mama bear I was concerned for my cubs! My prayer request “Heavenly Father, I want a protector, someone willing to defend me and my cubs. Someone hard-working, able to provide for himself, mama and the cubs. He should be generous and serving, aware of the needs of others, giving of his time, talent, money, and/or abilities. Let him be fun. Someone who can relax and enjoy a blessed, but stressed life. A Bible believing, church attending, born-again Christian. A father-figure for my cubs; to encourage, discipline, teach and love them. To hold them accountable and care for them like their mama bear does. I want a partner I can share my secrets, hopes, and dreams with. Someone I will willingly submit to, honor, respect, love and commit myself to ‘until death do us part’. Someone I can disagree with, work out conflict with, and still trust with my heart. God, I want my husband to be bear-y.”

via
Within months of my prayer request, I was introduced to the “bear-y” man I had requested from God and today we are celebrating our 6th anniversary. Guess what? God has a sense of humor! BARRY and I have our ‘good times and bad times’, ‘sickness and health’, ‘happiness and sorrow’, ‘richer and poorer’, but we are more devoted and in love than ever.

Yes, God answers prayer. If you’re struggling with trusting God’s plans for you, I want you to know something. God is good and able to provide for us above and beyond what we ask. I know. I married proof! My Bear is answered prayer! Today, as all days, the blesses outweigh the stresses!


Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Prayer

I find it easy to pray for others. After speaking to my friends, hearing the concerns of my family, watching the news I pray.

Just recently I prayed for healing as both my father and step-mother had surgery. I pray daily for safety in regards to my son-in-law as his job is not safe and he works outside (in 100°+ heat). I prayed for a friend who has a relative with legal trouble. I prayed for the victims and families of the Aurora, Colorado shooting; I prayed for the shooter too.

Confession time: I have trouble asking for prayer. Why is that? It makes no sense. I know that prayer is a gift and I fully trust that God answers prayer. I will pray for my needs and the needs/wants of my family, so why do I have difficulty asking others to pray for those same wants/needs?

The Bible says "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." (Phil 4:6-7) There are many scripture verses on prayer; it is evident that prayer is important to God. One of my favorite Bible verses is Matthew 18:20; "For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them." I’m taking a leap of faith today and requesting prayer from my readers.

My husband and I are doing what we believe is in the best interest of Jesi, my husband’s youngest daughter. We are in mediation before court trying to obtain residential custody. I’m not asking that you pray for us to receive the residential custody we are seeking. I’m not asking for prayer that we “win” custody or have favor with the judge. I only ask that you pray for God’s will to be done and that the counselor, the attorneys, the parents and the courts will follow-through with Jesi’s best interests.

Thank you for taking the time to read this and for your prayers. I pray for each of you as well.

I remember; I’m still more blessed than stressed!
CAS

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

True Humility vs False Modesty


It has been my pleasure to be acquainted with a few people in my life who know what true humility is.
If you’ve ever met Tim, you know what I’m talking about.  Tim was my boss several years ago.  By just being around him you knew he was a loving husband, a doting father/grandfather, a dedicated, hard working leader as well as a great supervisor and now my forever brother-in-Christ.  His daily attitude spoke volumes about his character.  He never had to tell you his beliefs, everything he did or said was based on his faith in Christ.  I learned a lot about servant leadership by simply observing how he related to others.  To this day, he’ll tell you he should have worked harder, he could have done better, etc – and there is no false modesty there, he honestly doesn’t know the impact he has on others.
Also, if you’ve met Brian, you know what I mean.  Brian is my step-son; smart as a whip, kind, considerate, fun…and a walking advertisement for Christ.  I’ve never heard him say one negative or disparaging thing about someone else. (I’m not saying he’s never done it, just that I’ve never heard him do it.)  There is something very “genuine” about Brian.   He lives for and loves Christ.  He doesn’t hide his faith and he’s willing to talk to anyone about it at anytime.  When he talks to you or does something for you, there’s nothing ‘false’.
 
On the other hand:
                 
I’ve witnessed my fair share of false modesty (I’m even guilty of it).
You know?  Those times when we make excuses or belittle a compliment instead of simply saying “thank you”.
-          Nice poem, I liked it.                    “Nothing special, anybody can do it.”
-          Great job on the report!                 “I put some data together, no big deal, it only took 3 days.”
-          Dinner was yummy!                      “It’s a new recipe, I’m sure I can do better.”
-          Thanks for babysitting!                  “It was nothing.”
I’d like to say I do this when I’m trying not to be vain, but in honesty I do it so I will hear “Yes it is a big deal” or “No, really, thanks so much”.  I stress a bit (OK, a lot) on what others think of me & tend to rely a bit too much on the accolades of others.  I always cringe inside when I catch myself doing this. I recently realized something; if God gives me an ability to share, a gift to use or time to benefit others and I downplay it, then I’m doing Him a disservice.  He deserves acknowledgement for anything and everything I’m capable of.  Just like the examples of Tim & Brian above.  I’ve been working on this and trying to do better by simply accepting a comment or compliment: 
-          Your poem was great, it really spoke to me.  “Thank you so much, I really felt the Holy Spirit moving me to write it.”

Still Stressed but mostly Blessed,
CAS