Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Family Time

THAT’S NOT FAIR! As a mom I’ve heard the phrase many times. (I’ve often heard it as a wife, friend and co-worker too.) I have a full-time job, a part-time job, I’m attending college full-time and I have teenagers at home, a husband, grown kids and grandkids. Herein lies my dilemma, aka as the age old question: quality time or quantity time? What is considered “fair”? Is it more important to spend a specific amount of time with the family or more important what I do in the time I do spend? After my own personal experiences and research, I have come up with an answer that surprised me.


I know, Earth shattering isn’t it? Sometimes there is no “right” answer. Families, and the family members in them, need different things at different stages. To the sleep-deprived parent walking the floor with a screaming child at 2 am, taking care of the baby’s needs counts as bonding-time. An elementary school-age child needs direction. A teenager wants as much space as parents will allow, but at the same time needs to know they have boundaries. Adult children want their own lives but also want to know “mom” and “dad” are still available. I’ve struggled with being ‘fair’ in the amount of time I spend with my children and grandchildren, being ‘fair’ with the time I give my husband, time I need to devote to school, work, church, friends, etc. I’ve learned something incredibly valuable. Trying to be fair is exhausting!

My youngest, JT a few days old 1996

God, in his infinite wisdom, gave us all the same amount of time. There are 60 seconds in every minute, 60 minutes in every hour, 24 hours in every day, 7 days in every week, etc. I do the best I can with the time he has graced me with. I love my family; they are precious to me in ways I cannot describe. I am so busy and stressed that I sometimes forget that and God reminds me my family is a gift. I will treasure all the time I spend with them: a few minutes of really good conversation or a few hours just sitting together watching a movie. All times are important and I consider ANY time with my family a blessing.

As you can see, my blesses still outweigh my stresses; continued prayers that you will find the same.


Breenah said...

I'm so glad we'll be able to see you more often soon!

Anonymous said...

Amen sister!! I'm right there with you. I'm a single, working mom with two kids and I am also going to school full time. There never seems to be enough time in the day and even the weeks seem packed. My 11 year old doesn't quite get why mom wants to "talk" every night before bed, nor why he can't spend every weekend at a different friends house. Being a mom really is the hardest job!!